Jay Elias | You can take it with you

"I have wasted Time, and now doth
Time waste me"
- Richard II

2002-05-05- 12:45 a.m.

All Tomorrow's Parties

I own a lot of music. At my last count, over seven hundred cds, and about one hundred records. I have five cd racks, two milk crates packed full of cds, another milk crate packed with LPs, and about forty more cds just stacked on the stereo. My two speakers are almost two feet wide and are a little over three feet tall. Some of the cds are things I've never even listened to.
I've been thinking a lot lately about getting rid of a lot of it. My stereo, with the exception of the turntable and the cd changer, was bought secondhand for seventy-five dollars off the family my ex-girlfriend babysat for about five years ago now, and while it must be said I got a lot of value for my money, it is starting to die. The tape deck finally decided it was time to rest about six months ago, and following suit, I have now managed to blow the woofer in one of the speakers. Whether I want it or not, it is becoming time for a change.
In all the years I've had it, I've only once ever really turned it up, and seen what this stereo can do. I kinda regret that now.
It is truly an unsightly mess, my stereo and my music. The blown woofer is held in place now with gaffer's tape, the milk crates are dusty and old and, well, milk crates, after all. The cd racks are supported by an eight by two of lumber that I stole from the construction crew working on the new student center at my college. These things didn't use to bother me. I used to be a college kid, a just-post-college kid, a man just starting out in the world. Mismatched furniture and sheets, homemade storage solutions, just weren't the sort of things that used to bug me. Now I'm infuriated by how lousy it looks and how much space it takes up. Of all the things I never imagined I'd be thinking, I'm thinking that if I got rid of the thing, picked up one of those mini-stereo units I used to loathe in the name of "sound purity" and some of those cd notebooks to keep music in, I could use the space to put in a couch. It would be good for having friends over.
Like I said, I don't listen to most of the cds anymore, if I ever did at all. But it comforts me to have it around. Hardcore albums from high school, Boot Camp Clik and Devo albums from college, these things all belong to a person I'm not really anymore. I used to pride myself on spinning limited edition M.O.P. remix twelve inches when I used to DJ. I used to love being able to know the music of Minor Threat when all the indie rock kids would talk about how great Fugazi was. But sadly, I'm now well past cutting edge. Even the obscure stuff I like, like the Get Up Kids and the Magnetic Fields and Fountains of Wayne are selling out their New York City concerts. I used to love that I could wait until the week before a show to buy tickets; now, if I want to see Wilco on their next trip to the city, I need to call up the first day they go on sale as if I was trying to go see Billy fucking Joel. Sadder still, the bands on Saturday Night Live have lately been groups I haven't even heard of. I mean, honestly, who the fuck is Andrew WK? And why the fuck are you lousy kids listening to this crap? Oh, and get a haircut.
The music can take me back though. I haven't listened to the Afghan Whigs Congregation in years, but having it around give me the option of going back to the ninth grade, staying up late to watch 120 Minutes and seeing the "Conjure Me" video for the first time. Music is better than a photograph that way; music brings me back to the feelings that I had. I can listen to a song and it plays like a soundtrack to the movie of my life as the images go widescreen in my head. In a way, I think I believe that none of these things are truly lost to me as long as I keep these fucking cds piled around.
I'm a dilettante in the truest sense, and my albums reflect it. Just a cursory glance reveals Emmylou Harris, Wanda Jackson, Organized Konfusion, Ween, The Pogues, Tool, Material Issue, Cat Power, BT, and the Karl Hendricks Trio. Which is a gathering that I imagine wouldn't find a lot of things to talk about at parties. But it takes work to keep your interests spread so thin. People who are serious about things, about their interests, they have to work so hard to keep up with them that it begins to exclude almost everything else. People who are experts about the Sandman comics I've noticed aren't really up on their knowledge of the 18th century novel as published in serial form.
Lately, though, I'm spread to thin to even have much room for my interests. I worked an eighty-four hour work week that only ended late Saturday afternoon. I still have to open my mail from the week, listen to my messages from the last three days, return email from the last two weeks, do the dishes, clean the apartment, take out the garbage, and try to find a little time for my girlfriend, and all this before I have to return to work at seven Monday morning. I don't have the the time to even go to a music store, much less find the next great unknown. Hell, I haven't even had the chance to see a movie in the theater since Lord Of The Rings.
I wonder a little if this is what happened to my parents. Did my dad get a job, a wife, children, a mortgage and simply lose the time to keep up with music after the Beatles? Is this my destiny, will I be listening to my old Luna cds when the classic rock station is playing bands that aren't even around yet?
There is a part of me that really hopes not. I know that every year, something new will come around like the Strokes or the Gossip that is great and that I will want to make a part of me. But there is a growing part of me that thinks I could have a very nice time putting a couch there, and listening to my same old Tom Waits records for years to come in the background while I talk to my friends. And maybe something from the Minutemen when I'm feeling like remembering my misspent youth.

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Doesn't Take Much and That's Messed Up - 2004-03-15
Like Water Under Bridges - 2003-09-08
Jesus On The Dashboard - 2003-08-13
An Administrative Announcement - 2003-08-11
Don't Worry, It's Coming - 2003-08-02

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