Jay Elias | You can take it with you

"I have wasted Time, and now doth
Time waste me"
- Richard II

2003-01-25- 8:17 p.m.

What I Want, Dear, Is My Heart Full Of Holes

Wow. It sure has been a while. Sorry about that; I guess I just felt like savoring the freezing cold of January. Ah, January. The month where the movie studios, torn with guilt over trying to fool us with all their highbrow, Oscar-bound fare, remind us of what it is that they do best by releasing such gems as Just Married and Kangaroo Jack. January. It truly ‘tis the season.
There is this strange new advertising campaign for Chili’s where people sing songs about Chili’s, and for some reason, their name and occupation appears below them. Which begs the question as to why it matters who these people are and what they do if the object of the ads are to convince people to eat at Chili’s. But the strangest one I saw for the first time tonight, where a young man is doing some oddball combination of scatting and beat-boxing and the title tells us that he is a “skilled carpenter”. Does this mean that he is a carpenter for a living, and that he is skilled at his job? Is Chili’s trying to set him apart from all the incompetent carpenters out there? As a skilled carpenter, is he above making bookcases and the like, and only does really difficult woodcutting and assembly and such? Is he in a carpentry union? Am I spending way too much time thinking about this?
I’ve also recently decided that the best new sitcom I’ve seen in years is Andy Richter Controls The Universe. I could go on and on about how good the show is and why, but this isn’t one of those websites where I give television reviews (those websites won’t let me write for them, and boy, aren’t I bitter?). So, I’ll just explain its brilliance by mentioning a recent episode where the new boss of the company all the characters work for places a crown on Paget Brewster’s head, and she simply turns to Andy Richter and says, “I have an M.B.A.” Now this doesn’t mean that much to me, since I don’t have a real job or even a Bachelor’s degree, but all my gainfully employed friends who have seen it describe it as perfectly describing the way they feel at work most days.
And since I’m talking about television incessantly, I might just mention one thing about Joe Millionaire, seeing as everyone else has put their two cents in already. Has anyone else noticed that nearly every single woman on that show have the most god-awful jobs? There is one doctor, and then it’s a festival of substitute teachers, flight attendants, and telemarketers. I suppose it makes a kind of sense – if my life was spent forty hours a week working as a bank teller, I’d whore myself for a shot a fifty million bucks too. How much worse could life with a boring stranger be than endlessly explaining to people how to fill out withdrawal slips for the rest of my life?
I have lately been very much enjoying the fact that my younger brother Xander has moved to New York. One of the great regrets of my life is that as a high school student, I allowed my relationship with him to become estranged. As an adult, I have sought ways to remedy that, but with the two of us living large distances apart, that was difficult. I have been seeing quite a bit of him since his move, and I’m gladdened by the fact that we seem to finally be developing a friendship, and thrilled at what a remarkable adult he has become.
My brother is a remarkable person. Sometimes it shocks me how little envy I have of him; unlike me, he has managed top grades, superb physical conditioning, excellent credit and an ample savings. And I’m not jealous at all. But, I must admit, it has allowed a thought to creep into my head since he has moved here.
I wonder a little what it is like for my parents. Are they prouder of him than they are of me? I wouldn’t begrudge them if they were. But I do lose a little sleep over the idea that he is so much less of a burden on their minds than I am. Do they think of me, and of what I have become, and feel ashamed of themselves? I suppose I can’t feel too badly for them on that score either. After all, I’m ashamed too.

previous |next |archives

If you want to make me
famous or just complain: Jay Elias -
jelias@diaryland.com

Older

Doesn't Take Much and That's Messed Up - 2004-03-15
Like Water Under Bridges - 2003-09-08
Jesus On The Dashboard - 2003-08-13
An Administrative Announcement - 2003-08-11
Don't Worry, It's Coming - 2003-08-02

Diaryland

join my Notify List and get email when I update
my
site:

email: