Jay Elias | You can take it with you

"I have wasted Time, and now doth
Time waste me"
- Richard II

2002-01-20- 3:13 a.m.

Another Anti-Migratory Epistle

Sometimes, in a long while, we get what we deserve.
Perhaps, when that time comes, we will find that we deserved better than we once thought.
If that isn’t enough to break your heart, nothing I can write in here will.
If you were lonely for a long long time, you might not even know it. You might think it was just the normal way to feel. But if you then reached a place where you weren’t lonely anymore, and became lonely again, it could eat away at you. It could find its way deep inside of you and just gnaw away.
People who say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all obviously have no idea what it really means to lose.
But what might happen if you went through all that, all the being lonely and then not being and then loneliness all over again. What would happen if then, you found someone, and you weren’t lonely anymore?
I don’t know, but I imagine you would miss the loneliness too.
I wish I could just stop. Movement is killing me. Truck drivers and college students hurtle down superhighways of cold concrete towards uncertainty, drunken on restlessness and perpetual motion. Progress stains the soul of the earth. Pretty girls sell Yamamoto dresses to Housing Works or the LBO because it is two seasons old.
I want to take a moment. I want to keep things in a place where I know them. Just for a little while. I want to make the mistake of counting my chips at the table. I just want to know what I have.

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If you want to make me
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Older

Doesn't Take Much and That's Messed Up - 2004-03-15
Like Water Under Bridges - 2003-09-08
Jesus On The Dashboard - 2003-08-13
An Administrative Announcement - 2003-08-11
Don't Worry, It's Coming - 2003-08-02

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